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Sunday, February 8, 20095:15 PM
okie. ITS REALLY BEEN LONG :}
i'm superrr sorrie that i have not been updatingg. :x i'm still stressing over my studies. ._. i seriously have very little spare time with all the softball training & competition :x i'm seriously MESSED-UP. secondary3 is NOT A JOKE. its TIRING. i'm alrdy stressed up at wad's gona happen. i tend to think too much. I NOE. i have GOT to learn to handle it ALL. damnit. blehhhhhhhhh. anw, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR :D its better late than never rite????? yeah--- its better early than late though. iGOTsoMANYthingsTOwrite. hahas(: the best part abt this chinese new year was meeting up with my cousins! ISUPEEERRR LOVE CINDY&VANNESA! they're like me. keep playing around (x hahas(: i need to study harderr. iDONTgetIT. why in the world are there cca for sec3???? DON'T they noe that sec3 life is alrdy a misery WITHOUT cca. now adding cca in, is = to MORE MISERY. it totally sucks! HELLO. not that i don't like softball. but i really need my own time. I have CHANGED. i am a brand new me. its not wad that change me. its life that changed me. keepon. everyone just moves on. TIME WAITS FOR NOONE. i will no longer keep myself in my own small world. TIME HAS CHANGED. I HAVE CHANGED. NO ONE WILL STAY THE SAME. & i will just have to keep eu in my memories. NEVER to remember eu again. cast away. my grandfather is still in the hospital. its really sad to see him trying to figure out who i'm. & even seeing him trying to talk. i have no time to visit him somemore. damnit. when kan i ever walk out of my stressful life. its no longer easy to be worry-less. as eu grow older. things just seems to weigh more on ur shoulders. i need to release them. but responsiblity & rules just restrict me further. its hard to understand. even i don't understand myself now. i DON'T WANNA be like that. i never wanted to be. but like i said. things are NEVER the same anymore. EVERYONE have changed. the difference is only whether they changed for the better or the worse. & me? i have just grown to be more selfish. NO ONE IN THE WORLD IS GOOD. & maybe its just better to be selfish. i have grown to be more afraid of responsiblity & rules. i have grown more timid. wad i like now- a chance for me to spread my wings and soar FREELY. no burden. no stress. no responsibilty & no RULES. i hate going to sch now, but i still have to. for my future. i kan't take the stress of being in the wrong side of life. I NEED TO CHANGE. eu caused me to change. i am different. i MAY LAUGH OR EVEN JOKE. but i have changed. i shall only love those who truly love me. the rest? i will just throw them away. |
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